Life is strange and unpredictable, beautiful and horrible, all at the same time. And the past few weeks, although still filled with everyday life, were also filled with goodbyes I wasn't ready to make, questions I didn't have answers too and a reevaluation of what I truly believe. I guess that's what happens when you face the loss of someone you love. Its like you slow down while it seems life speeds up and you get to the end six weeks later not really knowing how you got here.
But you do get here. Here six weeks out from my last blog post and looking over these last few weeks different than I was.
In the past few weeks...
- said good bye to my niece, Shelby, who died in a car accident April 28th.
- held her 7 month old baby boy close. Watching him smile, completely unaware of the fact that he would not see his mama again.
- spent time with family in the weeks to follow and realized that we are very blessed to have each other.
- watched as family and friends came in and showed us great love.
- cried a lot, but laughed more.
- also welcomed our newest family member, baby boy Nash. Who came into the world on May 14th and brought hope to a painful situation.
- had the part of myself that was judgmental and harsh brought to its knees
- watched my brother and sister in law experience a pain that no parent should have to experience
- didn't have my normal answers to the everyday hurts and learned that loving God, loving people sometimes means just being their with people in their grief
- had questions, doubts, uncertainty and still found God right there with me
- realized that we Christians say very dumb things when faced with death and really need to let God teach us what his word actually teaches about death and grieving. Or at least the fine art of keeping quiet.
- was reminded that life is short, precious, uncertain and filled with great pain and beauty
- officiated my niece's funeral and had to put words to life and death, love and loss
- was challenged to live life, knee's bleeding in prayer for others
- also spent time at the beach with my friend. Helping her work a wedding and enjoying some much needed rest and fun. Very strangely celebrating life while still grieving death
- we welcomed the very sweet Ari who was my niece's dog into our home
- we said good bye to 3 of our chickens who met their fate at the paws of the very sweet Ari and a troublemaking neighborhood dog
|Shelby Nicole Wiggins 1992-2012|
|Our newest baby, Ari.|
|Beautiful Destin Beach.|