Monday, December 27, 2010

Lie #1: Your not good enough...

I was telling someone today that I thought I had unraveled all the devils lies and yet now Im finding there are more than I originally thought.

Of course lies are like that. If left unchecked they take over every part of your life and you have to meticulously unravel the hold they have on you. They grow into something different over time and its hard to find their beginning.

Some of them are so a part of your thinking that you hardly recognize them anymore and others will even disguise themselves as humility.

Lie #1 has been especially hard for me to recognize.... Your not good enough!

I often miss how much control this lie has on my life. It is connected to so many other false beliefs that in a way it is the source of all of them. This one lie creeps into all areas of my life. It finds its way into my parenting, my ministry, my relationships, my hobbies, and even into my faith.

How? Well when a friendship ends or even if someone just happens to like someone better than me; in my mind I hear, "Its because your not good enough. Something's wrong with you."

When my nerves get the better of me while singing the devil mocks me, "Your not good enough and you will never be."

Even other peoples victories become proof that Im lacking and this heart aches wondering if there is anything that I would be good enough at.

Criticism, however well intentioned, becomes the weapon I use to destroy myself and remind myself "See your not good enough." and as for my faith; well, all the above are the many reasons I give God to proof that he shouldnt use me because afterall Im not good enough.

Of course I battle it. I have fought to believe the truth of God's word and to see myself through his eyes. I have fought to see my way clear of it and to allow God to heal this insecure heart. Ive also surrendered as well and chose to humble this prideful heart. Humble myself enough to admit I need help because I can not fight this fight without him. Humble myself enough to admit that this type of thinking is just another twisted form of pride.

Ive come to realize that I dont have any right to question how or who God chooses to use even if that happens to be less than perfect me. I dont have to be perfect because God is and he's bigger than all my crapt. I dont have to be strong all the time because Christ power is made perfect in my weakness.

For the sake of honesty Im battling to believe this right now. Like I said before this is as much for me as it is for you. I need to be reminded of the truth. I need to bring the wounds of my heart out into the light and yes I need to confess that I have doubted God and chose to believe a lie over truth.

I need to hear that ...
  • I did not choose Christ, but that he chose me and appointed me to bear much fruit, fruit that will last. (John 15:16)
  • God did not give me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and self discipline. (2 Tim 1:7)
  • I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
  • I am God's workmanship created to do good works which God prepared for me in advance to do. (Eph 2:10)
  • I will never be good enough, but his grace is more than enough. (2Corinthians 12:9)
  • God loves me no matter what and loved me enough to die for me. (John 3:16)

4 comments:

  1. What a great post; thanks so much for sharing!

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  2. Thanks Lisa. Just checked out your blog and it was fabulous. Love being on this journey with my sisters in Christ.

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  3. Wow! This is great, such honesty is difficult sometimes. I'm going to share this on my blog (as long as you don't mind) because we should all think about it.

    Danae
    Believing Unbeliever

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  4. Thanks Danae. Please feel free to share.

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